Difference
Script created with Final Draft by Final Draft, Inc.
[
bottom
]
INT. TOWNHALL - DAY
Everyone is seated.
MAYOR MCDANIELS is seated up front behind a table.
JIM stands.
JIM
Well. Due to these hard times. I'm gonna
have to close down my store. Jim's Drugs.
There is an uproar from the town.
RANDY
Close down Jim's Drugs--
SHARON
That's are only grocery store!
RANDY
Where will we get food?
The Mayor raps a mallet against the table.
MAYOR MCDANIELS
People. People. Listen. It's not the end
of the world.
GERALD stands.
GERALD
Easy for you to say! You've just sat back
while this town's economy went to hell!
SHEILA
Gerald!
GERALD
Well, I'm sorry. But I'm fed up with this
Mayor and I'm not going to take any more
of it!
Everyone rabbles in agreement.
RANDY stands.
RANDY
It's not Mayor McDaniels' fault. She was
just staying the course. Which was fine
up until now--
GERALD
The course. The course! This isn't
sailing, Randy!
RANDY
Well I know that Gerald.
Everyone breaks into uproar and disagreement.
MAYOR MCDANIELS
Will you people just shut up. I have a
secret plan to turn this town's financial
woes upside down.
GERALD
A secret. That's your plan to save South
Park. Our homes are worth less than a
studio apartment in Los Angeles!
MAYOR MCDANIELS
Yes! But it'll work--
GERALD
We don't need a secret plan. We need a
real plan!
EVERYONE
Right!
SHIELA
Well, the election for Mayor is coming
up. Maybe Mayor McDaniels shouldn't run
unopposed this time.
GERALD
Your right Shiela. I'm running for Mayor!
Everyone rejoices.
RANDY
Wait a minute. I'm not gonna let you
completely butt-fuck this town with your
liberal views Gerald. I'm also running.
Everyone rejoices.
The Mayor turns around in her seat. An ASSISTANT approaches
her.
ASSISTANT
What are you going to do Mayor?
MAYOR MCDANIELS
Don't worry. I have a plan to stimulate
this economy and win the election.
ASSISTANT
But how?
MAYOR MCDANIELS
I'm just gonna send everyone a check for
free money. Then they'll use that money
at Jim's Drugs. And Jim's Drugs will stay
open... And no one can turn down free
money.
ASSISTANT
Brilliant.
MAYOR MCDANIELS
Get my coat.
EXT. SOUTH PARK ELEMENTRY - DAY
Establishing.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
CARTMAN, stands in front of the class, in a suit, and coughs
to get attention.
MR. GARRISON
Settle down children. Please, let's just
get on with it.
CARTMAN
Thank you Mr. Garrison. I have prepared a
Powerpoint presentation. Let's watch.
ON SLIDE SHOW
An announcer comes on as pictures scroll.
ANNOUNCER
Get ready for this years' class
presidential election!
Music.
A picture of Cartman with an Eagle.
ANNOUNCER (CONT'D)
It's the clash of the class titans...
A picture of Cartman and Kyle facing off with boxing gloves
on their hands.
ANNOUNCER (CONT'D)
As Christian versus Jew...
A picture of a cross over a burning star of David.
ANNOUNCER (CONT'D)
Eric Cartman versus Kyle Broflovski...
A picture of Cartman ridding an Eagle having a laser battle
with Kyle.
An explosion.
ANNOUNCER (CONT'D)
Who will win?
A picture of Cartman's face over an American Flag.
CARTMAN (V.O.)
I'm Eric Cartman. And I approved this
message.
BACK TO CLASSROOM
CARTMAN (CONT'D)
And there you have it. Do you want some
one who you can trust, or some penny
stealing Jew! Who will probably steal all
the class funds, and we won't have a
field trip--
The class gasps.
KYLE
You raciest fatass! I wouldn't--
MR. GARRISON
Kyle! Wait your turn. Eric, just pick a
running mate already.
Mr. Garrison sighs with boredom.
CARTMAN
Very well. I choose Butters.
BUTTERS
(ecstatic)
Oh hotdog! Oh boy! I'm not let gonna let
you down Eric--
Cartman takes his seat.
CARTMAN
We'll see about that.
MR. GARRISON
Okay Kyle your next.
Kyle gets up in front of the class.
KYLE
Well... I. I umm...
MR. GARRISON
Today Kyle.
The children laugh a little.
KYLE
Well. The first thing I want to address
as class president, is equality for all
students, from bigots like Cartman--
CARTMAN
Gay--
Everyone laughs.
MR. GARRISON
Eric pipe down! You've had your turn. The
sooner this is done the sooner I can get
back to my personal agenda, which
involves a castration belt--
KYLE
And umm. Maybe I can lobby to lift the
ban on candy in the classroom.
Everyone cheers.
MR. GARRISON
And a running mate Kyle?
KYLE
Oh yeah. I choose Stan.
Kyle sits down. Mr. Garrison gets up and walks to the board.
MR. GARRISON
Okay children. Today we're going to learn
about Avocados. Did you know They grow on
trees...
STAN
Dude. Nice.
KYLE
Thanks Stan.
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY
Kyle and STAN are closing up their lockers. Cartman and
Butters walk up to them.
CARTMAN
Dude. Kyle that was completely lame and
let me add gay.
KYLE
Shut up you don't even have any issues.
How do you plan on winning?
CARTMAN
I don't need issues. I'm just gonna make
you look bad.
STAN
That's dumb.
KYLE
Yeah! The class is smarter than that.
CARTMAN
No they're not. And I bet on election day
I'll win. Just by making you look bad.
BUTTERS
Yeah!
Cartman lowers his head in disappointment.
CARTMAN
Butters.
BUTTERS
(shyly)
Eric wanna come over to my place after
school?
KYLE
Don't expect to win so easily on election
day Cartman. This class cares about
issues.
STAN
Dude. Let's go.
Kyle and Stan walk away.
CARTMAN
We'll see about that.
BUTTERS
Uh... Eric?
CARTMAN
Alright Butters! Let's go to your place.
BUTTERS
Oh yippie!
EXT. BUTTER'S HOUSE - DAY
Establishing.
INT. BUTTER'S ROOM - DAY
Butters and Cartman burst in and Cartman immediately tosses
his backpack on Butter's bed.
BUTTERS
I got some markers, so we can color some
posters--
CARTMAN
Shut-up Butters. I'm thinking of a plan.
BUTTERS
What kind of plan?
CARTMAN
The kind that's gonna make Kyle look like
the evil Jew he is.
BUTTERS
Oh.
CARTMAN
Get those markers out, we have work to
do.
BUTTERS
We making posters?
CARTMAN
Yeah. We're gonna make posters. And after
the class reads them. They'll hate Kyle,
just enough for me to become class
president.
ACT II
EXT. STAN'S HOUSE - NIGHT
Establishing.
INT. STAN'S HOUSE - RANDY AND SHARON'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
SHARON is tucked in bed reading as RANDY sits on the bed.
RANDY
I'm running for Mayor, Sharon.
She puts the book down.
SHARON
I know. I heard. Randy... What makes you
think you can be this town's Mayor?
RANDY
I know! I know what you're thinking. What
makes me capable? What makes me a Mayor?
SHARON
Yes!
RANDY
But you don't understand, Sharon.
SHARON
Understand what?
RANDY
The power...
SHARON
Randy?
RANDY
Only I have the power... to change this
town.
SHARON
Randy, what power? Your a geologist.
RANDY
Exactly!
FLASHBACK - EXT. DIG SITE - DAY
Randy is examining a rock sample.
RANDY (V.O.) (CONT'D)
About two weeks ago, while on the job. I
discovered something... Something big.
TWEAKED GUY (O.S.)
Randy! Randy! Randy!
Randy drops the rock.
RANDY
What is it?
The TWEAKED GUY runs up and hands Randy a piece of paper.
TWEAKED GUY
Check this article out. It says there's
like a thousand times more oil in
Colorado than in Saudi Arabia.
RANDY
Where did you find this?
TWEAKED GUY
Wikipedia.
RANDY
Oh. My. God.
BACK TO PRESENT
SHARON
Randy that's insane--
RANDY
I Know! It's gonna take a great man to
extract all that oil...
SHARON
No Randy--
RANDY
Imagine. All that oil, just right here.
In South Park. We'll be rich.
Sharon gives up and continues to read her book. Randy looks
pleased as he stares at the floor.
EXT. KYLE'S HOUSE - DAY
Establishing.
EXT. KYLE'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY
Gerald is seated at the table with a pile of letters in front
of him.
Shiela walks in with Kyle and IKE carrying groceries.
GERALD
Sheila, Kyle, Ike!
SHIELA
What is it Gerald?
GERALD
Look at this?
KYLE
What is all that, dad?
GERALD
It's letters of support from the town.
SHIELA
Wow!
GERALD
Yeah.
Gerald shuffles through the pile and picks up a letter.
GERALD (CONT'D)
One guy even said, I'm the answer to
South Park's prayers.
SHIELA
That's quite a bold statement... Kyle you
and Ike can go play now.
KYLE AND IKE
Thanks mom.
Kyle and Ike leave.
GERALD
I mean, wow...
SHIELA
Gerald, you should really be thinking
about the issues. Being Mayor is not
going to be that easy.
GERALD
Sheila, don't you see?
SHIELA
I see it Gerald. But that doesn't--
GERALD
I'm this town's little bundle of hope.
And by gosh! I'm going to grew up to an
unstoppable force of hope and change...
It's that spirit! That the town's people
want to see in a leader.
SHIELA
I know that Gerald--
GERALD
Hush. Hush. This one is from a nine year
old little girl...
Shiela just turns around and continues putting away the
groceries.
MONTAGE - RANDY AND GERALD RALLY SUPPORTERS
-- Randy in a suit presents his oil plan to citizens in a
Bar.
-- GERALD puts a pin, with his face and the word "Difference"
underneath, on a child. Then kisses him around many other
supporters outside.
-- Randy breaks ground at an oil well site. Supporters
applaud him.
-- Gerald appears on the "Colbert Report."
-- Randy tries to ride a mini horse at a Rodeo as supporters
watch. He gets kicked in the nuts by the mini horse and keels
over and begins to spit blood.
-- Gerald tee's off in Hawaii as cameras hoard to capture the
event.
INT. MAYOR'S OFFICE - DAY
An Assistant enters.
ASSISTANT
Mayor. Your opposing candidates are
gaining a lot of media and public
attention... You may lose this one.
MAYOR MCDANIELS
Dammit!
ASSISTANT
What should we do?
The MAYOR gets up and looks out the window.
MAYOR MCDANIELS
I hate this town. I've always loathe this
place... But I'm not about to lose to two
mountain hicks... Call a press
conference.
INT. TOWNHALL - DAY
The Mayor and assistants sit alone.
MAYOR MCDANIELS
Where is everyone? I thought I said to
call a press conference.
ASSISTANT
I did.
MAYOR MCDANIELS
No one showed up then... No one cares--
ASSISTANT
Wait!
The door opens.
A bum stumbles in and faces the wall and urinates, releasing
a hearty sigh of relief.
MAYOR MCDANIELS
Shit.
EXT. JIM'S DRUGS - DAY
An empty stage, with two podiums, in front of many
supporters. The crowd seems divided equally.
Half the town's people have red signs with Randy's name and
"South Park Mayor in 2008" on them.
The other half have blue signs with Gerald's face and the
word "Difference" underneath.
INT. TOWNHALL - DAY
An Assistant runs in.
ASSISTANT
Mayor! Mayor!
MAYOR MCDANIELS
What is it?
ASSISTANT
Turn on the TV. Quick.
The Mayor turns on a television.
ON THE TELEVISION
The scene at Jim's Drugs. A news reporter comes into view.
REPORTER
A very exciting atmosphere here at Jim's
Drugs today, Tom. As Randy Marsh and
Gerald Borflovski finally debate. They've
been dancing around each other for weeks.
Like two wild horny Australian animals in
a dance of death... While Mayor McDaniels
wasn't even invited. Back to you Tom.
BACK TO SCENE
MAYOR MCDANIELS
Idiots.
She shuts off the television.
EXT. JIM'S DRUGS - DAY
Gerald and Randy stand behind the podiums.
GERALD
Now many of you may be wondering what is
happening today?
SOME HICK
Hell yeah!
BUSINESSMAN
You're goddamn right!
GERALD
Well, today... Our leaders are messing up
this community! Today our leaders are
neglecting the fundamentals to our town's
economy. But tomorrow! If you elect me.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow, will be different...
RANDY
Phphph. Please... If you elect a butt
loving left winged elephant cock savoring
blue ball democrat, so help you Jesus.
Your going straight to hell, along with
this community.
GERALD
Mr. Marsh. Let me ask you this question?
How do you plan on making a difference in
our town?
RANDY
Gladly. I have a totally revamped system
that will effectively take us out of this
financial crisis, and... end global
warming as we know it...
(quickly)
Effective in twenty one thirty six.
GERALD
Yes. We all have heard of your revamped
system of changes. But what about the
changes on main street?
RANDY
Mr. Broflovski, tell us about your
religious status... In this community? I
mean, I never see you at church.
GERALD
I'm Jewish.
RANDY
Are you trying to say, Mr. Broflovski,
that you don't believe in Jesus?
Everyone gasps.
GERALD
I'm a very religious man--
RANDY
(screaming)
Tell us about the dead babies? Tell us
about the dead babies? Do they haunt you
in your dreams?
GERALD
I'm not for abortion--
RANDY
Oh! So your against women choices?
SOME LADY
Pig!
GERALD
This is not what this debate is about.
This is about Jim's Drugs and what we can
do for it.
RANDY
Elect Gerald and you'll be butt fucking
Jim in the back room twelve hours a day.
GERALD
Elect Randy and watch this crisis evolve
into a catastrophe. What we have here is
too much spending on the government
level. Elect an official who is against
earmark and pork barrel spending. Elect
me and see a difference!
RANDY
That's preposterous! Fact, Mr. Broflovski
is for lowering taxes at the higher
bracket, cutting out the working man. I'm
fundamentally different, in that I don't
want to eat your children.
GERALD
That's just childish. If you want a
fundamental difference, vote for me!
A reporter is on the scene.
REPORTER
An exciting debate, Tom. Many good butt
fucking points were made. Especially
about the future of Jim's Drugs. Leaving
this reporter in denial of his
heterosexuality. Back to you Tom.
EXT. SOUTH PARK ELEMENTRY - DAY
Establishing.
INT. SOUTH PARK ELEMENTRY - HALLWAY - DAY
Posters are plastered everywhere. Some children hold flyers
in their hands.
KYLE
What's going on?
STAN
Look dude.
STAN points to one of the bigger posters.
ON POSTER
It's a picture of Randy spitting oil out of his mouth. With
the words: "Ask yourself? What's the price of Stan's vice
presidency? Is it too high?"
BACK TO SCENE
TOKEN walks up.
TOKEN
I don't get it.
CLYDE
Me either.
BEBE
Me too.
KYLE
Well that's great. It's a goddamn smear
campaign!
STAN
Aww. Dude?
KYLE
What!
Stan points to an even bigger poster across the hallway.
ON BIGGER POSTER
It has a picture of Paris Hilton with some words. CARTMAN
narrates.
CARTMAN (V.O.)
Kyle's dad is the biggest celebrity in
town. That means Kyle, is the child of a
celebrity. You know who else is like the
child of a celebrity? Exactly. Ask
yourself, who do you want as class
president?
BACK TO SCENE
KYLE rips down the poster.
EXT. KYLE'S HOUSE - NIGHT
Establishing.
INT. KYLE'S ROOM - NIGHT
Kyle is slumped over his desk, which is covered in papers.
Stan comes in.
STAN
Hey dude, what's up?
KYLE
I can't do it.
STAN
Do what?
KYLE
Beat Cartman.
STAN
Aw dude. Nobody believes those posters--
KYLE
Yes they do. They do, cause they're
really that dumb... And Cartman knows it.
STAN
Come on, if we just work on our primary
issues--
KYLE
They don't matter. I just wish I could
lie, and give everyone what they want.
STAN
Well... Why don't you?
Kyle lifts his head, then slumps down again.
KYLE
Go home dude. I'm too tired tonight.
STAN
Alright dude. But just remember, it's
just a stupid class presidency thing.
Stan leaves.
[
top
| next
]
Script created with Final Draft by Final Draft, Inc.